so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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