Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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