I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
