i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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