I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I see more hoeing in ur future
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