Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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