Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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