Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
vagina is talking i cant
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize