Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
