yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
