um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
