i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
