You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
