dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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