After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
is that a dick in a sweater?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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