we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
