Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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