margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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