And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
