My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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