no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
