Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
