My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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