i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
