she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
