Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
