I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
