just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
