I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
