Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
its not stalking. its research.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
