8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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