Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
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I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
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I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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