You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I need to wash the frat house off of me
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
