listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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