Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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