We're like a lot better than the average bears
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
