My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize