so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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