Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
