I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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