Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
