You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
