she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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