Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
