What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
