Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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