you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
