Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize