I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize