would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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