He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You pole danced in your parka.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
