It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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