Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
