I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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