i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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