so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
