and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
