he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
