Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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