oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
