Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I need moral support for this bender
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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